Change
This month marks my second year here in US. Two years..has it been that long? Since i got married 8 years ago, my life has always been of constant moving, packing, unpacking, settling in, adjusting..every 2 years. Having Lived & made friends in 4 different cities in that span of time, not including having to learn, speak, understand & digest, a new dialect is tough. I thought i was already so good at it. Change, that is.
And the last move was the most difficult. Leaving friends to be with the one you love, leaving your parents & own comfort zone to make & etch a life of your own, leaving the one place you so dearly love, to discover & unravel a new one. That is tough. And that has been my life for the past 8 years. For now Chicago is the Rest Stop.
Moving here i believe made me become a better, stronger person not only in my dealings with other people but also how it shaped my convictions ..in life, love & reality. And my reality for now is this: Change is the only permanent thing. Nothing stays the same. This is so true. For me.
It seems like everyone around me is moving on with their respective lives & in a very good way at that. My friend K, is a student again. P, is starting a new life Land down Under. C0-Worker M, has been juggling 3 facilities for now( i’m dying to work with her again). J, is planning to move to AZ . L,will transfer to L& D come next schedule & D, my buddy will be part of Chicago Fire Dept soon, achieving his lifelong dream. I’m so happy for all of them, but leaves me sad & empty at the same time.
And what’s in store for me? I asked myself. And the answer is "I don’t Know". All i know is that i’m gonna miss those people who will leave & am missing the ones who have left. That I will treasure each & every moment with the ones who stayed. And, that i will forever be grateful for the borrowed time we all once had. And i believe that Time has it’s own way of reconnecting with the people you love & cherish the most.( soon..see you later..we all say)
I have always told my good friend K that Change is always good, ( having had her share of drastic lifechanging events as well ) to always welcome it & embrace it. but..is it really?
For NOW, i just want to sit still, watch the world go by. Breathe.To hold onto the people, places, things that make me happy. To be still.Gather strength. Be happy for others. To Avoid the race we call LIFE. For Now.
But even if i sit still, Life gets in the way & starts making plan for other people. Now tell me. When can we have parallel universe?
Really, i thought i thrive on impermanence. I really thought i was so good at it.
it still hurts. everytime.
May 12th, 2008 at 9:19 pm
Hi Timay,
With your every word and sentiments between the lines, all I can say is that we’re really of the same blood. Confident of some things in life but which in the end find out that we’re still weak after all.
Aginod lang gihapon ta sa pagpadayon og puyo sa matag adlaw ug hitabo nga moabot sa atong kinabuhi. We have no other choice but to go on.
Bringing life 8 years back and beyond, I also feel that pang of emptiness when I lost touch with you. Despite our age gap, you’ve been a constant companion when we were growing up. You were there when I learned to swim! As it is, time flies, life changes, people move on. But one thing I’m glad that will never change is the blood that runs in our veins which binds us together wherever we may be. That blood that makes us relatives, related, though miles and distance apart.
Gawas kon di na mi nimo angkonong paryente. Hehe!
May 12th, 2008 at 9:27 pm
got a blog too inspired by you….read it mao na ako i comment sa imo…hehe…miss you nyang and i’ll forever be grateful sa ato gi agian…mapa bagyo,winter,spring,summer and pohon this coming fall..c”,)
May 12th, 2008 at 9:29 pm
naa pa diay nyang oi….Until then….
September 6th, 2008 at 11:58 pm
Hi Timyang,
Feel kaayo nako ang imong write-up. Touched ko!
Just like you, being away from “home, family and friends” taught me to become a better and stronger person. It is unfortunate that we no longer see our very close friends at a weekly gathering or drive past each others houses. Or that when we go “home”, some of them are not even there anymore and have also moved to someplace else. I think, we’ve reached the point of adulthood. Hehehehehe…Hopefully, we’ll get reconnected with our close friends comes “retirement”!
Someone once e-mailed me a poem about friends coming into our lives for a Reason, a Season and Forever ….and I hope your old and new found friends will be in for the latter.
CHEERS to more set of 16 years of knowing you!
*hugz*
Nanay
October 29th, 2008 at 7:46 am
Well written article.