summing up 2008

December 25th, 2008 by artemisfrayed
What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?                                          middle part of the year, i just snapped out of my ” migration depression”.Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?  Nope I didn’t make one. 2006 & 2007 eve  were more like the same for me. But, I will definitely make a list for 2009!! yipee…did anyone close to you give birth?
Nobody..no one wants to get pregnant! makes sense to me..

Did anyone close to you die?

No, thankfully.What countries did you visit?
No country..just states. Florida, Missouri, Wisconsin, Indianapolis. Mostly, Midwest. Boring.. but got the chance to tread through Route 66.What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
kabit? ha-ha!! ..More money so I can travel more, but that means I have to work harder right?? nyaah..I’ll think about it. :) What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
There were quite a few but I shall never tell the tale of the “one” that is etched and that will remain so..

What was your biggest achievement of the year?  coming out of the dark..i’m alive again.

What was your biggest failure?
passed up too many opportunities  esp the first half of the year just because I’m lazy, stupid, confused &  with too much angst.. moronic issues with myself.

Did you suffer illness or injury?
injured my ankle due to intoxication. how about being “manic-depressive- hacker-stalker-OC?”does that count?

What was the best thing you bought?
Iphone 3G..alaveet!!!

Whose behavior merited celebration?   I would like to say my husband for the reason that he has this unwavering patience and understanding for me..and when i say unwavering.. i really mean u-n-w -a-v-e-r-i-n-g. gets?

Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? ….and was relieved at the same time. Him knows.

Where did most of your money go?
Bills, rent.. gadgets, dining out.Travels. no regrets even tho’ it means no savings
What did you get really, really, really excited about?
The thought that I can do something greater if I just put my heart on it!

What song(s) will always remind you of 2008?
a lot! hmmm… *Shatter by OAR  ” how many times can I break til I shatter?”- reminds me of my colleagues in NAH & that crazy fun night we had at Old Oak Tap. missin’ them much!

* Search is Over -   peak of Arnel Pineda hype. I admit I became an instant fan   of him with his cover version.

* Viva la vida. I love Chris Martin.

 …And this one song just makes me pensive,  what else, but Gavin Rosdale’s. Love Remains the Same
Drink to all that we have lost
Mistakes we have made
Everything will change
But love remains the same

Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder?
happier
ii. thinner or fatter? fatter…2x the  bilbil!
iii. richer or poorer? same same..

What do you wish you’d done more?
more sleep, more rest, more time with my friends and get to know more people at work & in between. more effort to re connect with old friends. read more books! travelled more! I’m crazy, I just shut myself off! sigh!

What do you wish you’d done less of?
less time on cyber space..less friendster. Lesser YM. less gossip..hahahahh…

What was your favorite TV program?
i’m tuned out..no tv for me.

Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
nobody comes to mind, really. I get bothered for like a day or two and then I move on. I’m bitchy but I don’t have any mean bone. I don’t hold any grudge.

What was the best book you read?
Letters to Sam

What was your greatest musical discovery?
I don’t know how to answer this question

What did you want and get?
peace of mind. coz I am less stressed out now. Miles away from 2 years ago.

What was your favorite film of this year?
Mamma MIA!!.. and Vantage Point.

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Nothing much. Was out for lunch with the family & karen at quartino. I was 32 yo back then.

What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
That I would have just went  home last August to join my Pops & Bro & surprised my Ma. It would have completed the year for all of us..too bad!

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
does  Scrubs & Trainers & sphygmo still considered to be a fashionable thing stilll? ow, don’t forget the ponytail…

What kept you sane?
The exclusivity of friends who hear me out regardless  if I’m being the bitchiest, meanest, craziest, delusional, selfish person there ever was.
basically, my sounding board.
Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
No one.

What political issue stirred you the most?

Who did you miss?
my former train wreck life. maybe that’s why i miss it coz I am in a better place now and in the best hands. i just miss thinking about it but will never go back.

Who was the best new person you met?
can’t speak the same of me…

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.  That people are going to love you, hate you, love to hate you, hate to love you. But, what is tried & true will stay, long after the curtains have been drawn down.

What was the nicest thing someone told you about yourself:
hmmmm….” You are sensible” whatever that meant..thanks!

The most touching experience you’ve had this year?
the friendships forged in NAH. most esp. with the white boy & angela.Coz I’ve always had this ‘ stereotype’ that I can never be friends with other race .. just because i’m ignorant. Color’s got nothing to do with it but how good  your heart & intentions are. ayt?

What did you like most about yourself this year?
I was bold & Neurotic! that i said what i meant to say. no regrets on that.

What did you hate most about yourself this year?
gossips, gossip….gossip queen! haha… it was fun though.

How are you different now that the year has ended?
I’m smiling  & laughing more often now..and sleeping.. and resting well.

Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
..it was a rush.. what a rush!”.. ( so fleeting )

What are your plans for 2009?
too many.. but I’ll make sure It happens. I’ll get back to this meme a year from now.

What are your wishes for the new year?
Good Health for everyone. Be a better & wiser person than last… and more loving.

Comments: Add Your Own.

 

 

Wednesday, December 24th, 2008

the moment Sally fell in love with Linus

October 30th, 2008 by artemisfrayed

Ooowwws…:)

what’s your song?

June 28th, 2008 by artemisfrayed

"People smile and tell me I’m the lucky one
We’ve just begun, I think I’m gonna have a son
He will be like you and me, free as a dove
Conceived in love, the sun is gonna shine above

Even though we ain’t got money
I’m so in love with ya honey
Everything will bring a chain of love
In the mornin’ when I rise
Bring a tear of joy to my eyes
And tell me everything’s gonna be all right"

- Loggins & Messina/ Danny’s Song -

Those who knew us, & our so called "lab istori" — can attest  that it is one for the books. I’ll spare the details here. Let me just say that we didn’t take a deep breath before we took the plunge. We just jumped right in without thinking, regardless where we may fall. Call it crazy leap of faith.

Moving ahead…

When i was still preggers this was the same song that Jun would always sing to me  way back 1999. Well, we didn’t have a son but  a lovely daughter instead, who looks exactly like him. Female version of him actually.

Fastforward to the present . >>> Even though we still ain’t got a lotta money  ( hahaha!! ), but the same love is  still there. The sun is shining above. And, everything is still alright.If not much better.

And, the funny thing is that Abby is now singing the same song with warbled lyrics with the right so-so tune.

Emotional that he is , I’m sure this will bring tears of joy to his eyes when he gets to read this. 8 years Hon & a lifetime more.. Love Ya!

i hate love.

May 31st, 2008 by artemisfrayed

Here’s some Gaiman & de Lespinasse quotes for all of you guys. Sugar Overload y’all!!

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life.You give them a piece of you. They didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like ‘maybe we should be just friends’ turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.

                                       ***********

I’ve been making a list of the things they don’t teach you at school. They don’t teach you how to love somebody. They don’t teach you how to be famous. They don’t teach you how to be rich or how to be poor. They don’t teach you how to walk away from someone you don’t love any longer. They don’t teach you how to know what’s going on in someone else’s mind. They don’t teach you what to say to someone who’s dying. They don’t teach you anything worth knowing.

                                      ***************

Sometimes you wake up. Sometimes the fall kills you. And sometimes, when you fall, you fly.

Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you I have no control over.

If I never met you, I wouldn’t like you. If I didn’t like you, I wouldn’t love you. If I didn’t love you, I wouldn’t miss you. But I did, I do, and I will.

You know that when I hate you, it is because I love you to a point of passion that unhinges my soul.

Love me when I least deserve it, because that’s when I really need it.

Change

May 12th, 2008 by artemisfrayed

This month marks my second year here in US. Two years..has it been that long? Since i got married 8 years ago, my life  has always  been of constant moving, packing, unpacking, settling in, adjusting..every 2 years. Having Lived & made friends in 4 different cities in that span of time, not including having to learn, speak, understand & digest, a new dialect is tough. I thought i was already so good at it. Change, that is.

And the last move was the most difficult. Leaving friends to be with the one you love, leaving your parents &  own comfort zone to make & etch a life of your own, leaving the one place you so dearly love, to discover & unravel a new one. That is tough. And that has been my life for the past 8 years. For now Chicago is the Rest Stop.

Moving here i believe made me become a better, stronger person not only in my dealings with other people but also how it shaped my convictions ..in life, love & reality. And my reality for now is this: Change is the only permanent thing. Nothing stays the same. This is so true. For me.

It seems like everyone around me is moving on with their respective lives &  in a very good way at that.  My friend K, is a student again. P, is starting a new life Land down Under. C0-Worker  M, has been juggling 3 facilities for now( i’m dying to work with her again).  J, is planning to move to AZ . L,will transfer to L& D come next schedule & D, my buddy will be part of Chicago Fire Dept soon, achieving his lifelong dream. I’m so happy for all of them, but leaves me sad & empty at the same time.

And what’s in store for me? I asked myself. And the answer is "I don’t Know". All i know is that i’m gonna miss those people who will leave & am missing the ones who have left.  That I will treasure each & every moment with the ones who stayed. And, that i will forever be grateful for the borrowed time we all once had. And i believe that Time has it’s own way of reconnecting with  the people you love & cherish the most.( soon..see you later..we all say)

I have  always told my good friend K that Change is always good, ( having had her share of drastic lifechanging events as well ) to always welcome it & embrace it. but..is it really?

For NOW, i just want to sit still, watch the world go by. Breathe.To hold onto the people, places, things that make me happy.  To be still.Gather strength. Be happy for others. To Avoid the race we call LIFE. For Now.

But even if i  sit still, Life gets in the way & starts making plan for other people. Now tell me. When can we have parallel universe?

Really, i thought i thrive on impermanence. I really thought i was so good at it. 

it still hurts. everytime.

AWAKENING

April 21st, 2008 by artemisfrayed

Repost:The Awakening by: Sonny Carroll

Allow me to share with you this very inspiring article. This is for everyone.The lost, confused, brokenhearted,not so- brokenhearted, inspired ,hole - hearted & lastly to people whose Hearts are Happy right now..:-) pretty long but worth it.

A time comes in your life when you finally get it…

When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you

stop dead in your tracks and somewhere, the voice

inside your head cries out - ENOUGH!

Enough fighting and crying, or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes, you begin to look at the world through new eyes.

This is your awakening…

You realize that it’s time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming and you are not Cinderella and that in the real world, there aren’t always fairy tale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of “happily ever after” must begin with you and in the process, a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are … and that’s OK. (They are entitled to their own views and opinions.) And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself and in the process, a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.

You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn’t do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that people don’t always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that it’s not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself and in the process, a sense of safety & security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties and in the process, a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.

You realize that much of the way you view yourself and the world around you, is a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. You begin to sift through all the junk you’ve been fed about how you should behave, how you should look and how much you should weigh, what you should wear and where you should shop and what you should drive, how and where you should live and what you should do for a living, who you should marry and what you should expect of a marriage, the importance of having and raising children or what you owe your parents. You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. You begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for.

You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you’ve outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with and in the process, you learn to go with your instincts.

You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive and that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a “consumer” looking for your next fix.

You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a by gone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.

You learn that you don’t know everything; it’s not your job to save the world and that you can’t teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.

Then you learn about love. Romantic love and familial love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or important because of the man on your arm or the child that bears your name.

You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes.

You learn that just as people grow and change, so it is with love; and you learn that you don’t have the right to demand love on your terms, just to make you happy.

You learn that alone does not mean lonely. You look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a perfect 10 and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head and agonizing over how you “stack up.”

You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK and that it is your right, to want things and to ask for the things that you want and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands.

You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won’t settle for less. You allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you, to glorify you with his touch and in the process, you internalize the meaning of self-respect.

And you learn that your body really is your temple. And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water and taking more time to exercise. You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear. So you take more time to rest. Just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul; so you take more time to laugh and to play.

You learn that for the most part in life, you get what you believe you deserve and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen, is different from working toward making it happen.

More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone and that it’s OK to risk asking for help.

You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time; FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears, because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear, is to give away the right to live life on your terms.

You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn’t always fair, you don’t always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions, you learn not to personalize things. You learn that God isn’t punishing you or failing to answer your prayers; it’s just life happening.

You learn to deal with evil in its most primal state; the ego. You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.

You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted; things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about; a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself, by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever settle for less than your heart’s desire. You hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind, and you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.

Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by your side you take a stand, you take a deep breath and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can.

gutsy..indeed!

March 23rd, 2007 by artemisfrayed

yesterday, i met  Chuck Palahniuk! not the guy, but his works. man, gutsy indeed..i didn’t know he was the man who wrote "fight club", the same movie from the same title of the book where brad pitt starred on.

reviews of mr. chuck had it that during one of his readings, approx.23 people fainted, then 30+ on another occasion..well as for me, let’s just say they can count me in as well.( i didn’t faint, but i had a knot in my stomach while reading) i know he’s not sick..overly graphic  & filthy..maybe.

discover it for yourself.."GUTS" by C.Palahniuk.

December 8th, 2006 by artemisfrayed

this week had been like a surreal rollercoaster ride for me..for one, friends that i haven’t heard or seen for the longest time suddenly started "popping -up"!! and oh yes, that’s you Marvski, i’m talking about. soooo happy to see you dear.:-)

then on the following day, look who landed her a** in chicago after 3 days of "fighting" over the phone whether she will come here or not..KAREN!!!came all the way here, went to MAG Mile to do her usual photo ops,(til her battery dies) finally met up with her at 5:30pm at Old orchard. and i had to be on the freeway at exactly 6:00 or else i’d be late (again) for work. (got an e-mail already from "up There" about my tardiness..hehe!)jeesssuss..that was the most  fastest " hi-how-are-you-miss you so much kar-dali!!–pa-picture-na-ta-kay mulakaw nako-!!" ever in my life…funny, i said my g’byes to her telling her, "manawag lang nya ko nimo, kita ta ugma!" as if we’re in Cebu..

really, friendship knows no distance.it’s just like we’ve seen each other yesterday..i really miss Cebu.i miss the beach.i miss Ayala.i miss all my friends.

but, gotta stay here for now…got bills to pay..ciao!!